BullyFriend
Old folks used to say, “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you where you're going.” I often say something similar to my seven-year-old daughter. She had trouble with a bully at the beginning of the school year, but now she claims that they are friends.
“You are friends with someone who bullied you?” I asked, giving her the side eye. “Exactly what kind of friend does a bully make?” Just the other day, she told me about an incident when she was with the bullyfriend and the bullyfriend got in trouble. As a result, my child was pulled aside and reprimanded by the teacher as well. The teacher, knowing the history of the bullychild, told my daughter, “Maybe you should find someone else to play with.” I just shook my head, wondering if that sounded familiar to her at all. You are indeed judged by the company you keep.
“My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path; For their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood.” (Proverbs 1:10, 15-18). This is the first instruction Solomon gives to his son in the Book of Proverbs. Of all the advice Solomon gives, he chooses to start with a warning about bad company. Could it be that people have an incredible influence over the lives of other people, especially those we call friends? This is a lesson for all believers, young and old: Be careful in choosing your friends. Jesus chose His friends wisely. He chose men who would follow Him. In John 15:12-15, Jesus says, “You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.” What did Jesus command them? “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus, as the epitome of a friend, teaches His friends how to be a friend. Who better to take instructions from on how to be a friend than the Creator of friendship!
Jesus goes on to say, “No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” Because Jesus is such a great friend, in teaching His friends about the Kingdom of God, He shared everything that He knew. Jesus taught His friends to honor God and be obedient to His Word. Anything that would encourage these men to be true followers of Christ and fulfill the Great Commission, He revealed to them, and because of this, Jesus had a pretty good inner circle of friends. Most of them went on to make a monumental impact on the Kingdom of God.
I have often heard people accuse Jesus of being friends with sinners, even attempting to use that as an excuse for their own questionable associations. The idea likely comes from Matthew 9:10-12, where Jesus is having dinner with the disciples, “While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with Him and His disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked His disciples, 'Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ On hearing this, Jesus said, ‘For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’” Jesus came to seek and save the lost, to redeem sinners, so He showed Himself as a friend.
Jesus was so good and kind to people that they turned from their sinful ways. In Luke 7, the woman with the alabaster box, believed to have been a prostitute, washed Jesus’ feet and anointed Him with expensive perfume. Jesus forgave her for her past sins, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” Jesus spoke to the woman at the well about her sin. He told her about the Kingdom of God and introduced her to living water. She shared her testimony with her fellow Samaritans, and as a result, many were saved (John 4:1-42). The woman caught in adultery was about to be stoned, but Jesus told the crowd, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.” That was not to excuse her sin but to offer her mercy and give her a chance to repent and leave her life of sin behind (John 8:1-11).
There is a difference between showing the love of God to those who lead sinful lifestyles, leading them to repentance, and allowing companions of the world to take a central place in your life. When you are unequally yoked, you run the risk of being influenced by bad character. Solomon advises believers not to walk in the way with them. Maybe find someone else to play with.
What kind of friend does a bully make? Likely the kind that Solomon warns about throughout Proverbs. Ironically, Solomon failed to take his own advice. He surrounded himself with wives and concubines who were not obedient to the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. They did not love God, honor God, or heed His Word; as a result, they did not encourage Solomon to do so; instead, they led him astray. They were not his friends.
What kind of people do you find yourself around? Are they obedient to the Word of God? Jesus is the standard of a true friend. Use His example and be a true friend. Have a frenemy or a bullyfriend? Be the example of a friend that they can follow and love them from afar. Do not just find someone else to play with, find someone who loves the LORD and be friends with them.
