Ghosted
“Can you believe they have been friends since they were three years old?” I asked as I watched my daughter and her friend play.
“I know,” said her friend's grandmother, “And I want them to spend as much time together as possible because when they get to be teenagers, I don’t want Charlotte around her.”
“Huh?” I exclaimed, caught off guard. Why would someone say to my face that they did not want my daughter around their grandchild?
“Yeah,” she continued. “My granddaughter is a wild one. By the time they reach their teens, she will be even wilder! There's no way I'm going to let her spoil a sweet girl like Charlotte with her shenanigans!
“Wow.” I managed to say through my hysterical laughter. I could not believe that this lady had just said that about her own grandchild. “Why would you say that?” I asked, trying to compose myself. “Sure, she is a little on the free-spirited side, but you don't speak things like that over a child. You are prophesying that over her life.”
“Whatever,” she said, sticking to her guns. "It’s only a matter of time before she starts sneaking out and stealing the car.”
That one had me on the floor.
I often think about this conversation when I consider my daughter's friends. This lady may or may not have been exaggerating about her grandchild, but she had a point. Indeed, they share a love of bouncy houses and ice cream now, but what about the future? How compatible will they be with each other in the long run? Will they even be good for one another?
“Rejection is God’s protection,” I regularly tell my six-year-old daughter. Her friends are dropping like flies. Everything will be going smoothly —playdates, outings, parties — and then, next thing you know, I'm ghosted—no replies to texts, no calls, no contact, nothing. Now, I am stuck having to explain why she can no longer play with her friend.
“It’s not you, it's me,” I tell her. “The kid likes you, but the parent doesn't like me, and if the parents don't have a relationship, the kids can't have one either. Sad but true."
"Oh," she says, "Why don’t the parents like you?" I did not expect her to ask me that, but I could think of a few valid reasons. The truth, though, was that I did not know. I truly go above and beyond for people, pull out all the stops, and still manage to get ghosted. I will admit that I am not everyone's cup of tea, but surely someone can stand being around me for an hour to allow our kids to play.
"I actually don’t know why some parents don't like me," I told her. "And maybe it's not that they don't like me, maybe it's just not meant to be. Sometimes in life, we face rejection because that person is not supposed to be a part of our journey, but God knows we don't have sense enough to reject them, so He closes that door for us. It's a good life lesson. If someone abandons you or removes themselves from your life for no apparent reason, don't blame yourself; consider that it may be God's all-knowing, ultimate protection, and accept it. Don’t fight it because there's a reason. You understand?"
"I understand Mama," she said. "Rejection is God's protection!"
1 Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals.” As Christians, we are constantly under spiritual attack, and one of the enemy's greatest tricks is to place the wrong people in our lives (Ephes. 6:2). He knows that he does not have to destroy us if he can distract us. If he can introduce someone into our lives whose presence works against us, we will slowly move away from God's purpose for our lives. Sometimes, people seem harmless, even friendly; they may not even realize that they are being used, but indeed, they are vessels of spiritual opposition who poison our spirits and pull us away from God. God has a plan for each of our lives, but despite our potential, anointing, or divine calling, being connected to the wrong people will delay our destiny.
“He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Prov. 13:20). Let us teach our children to be intentional about their relationships and pay attention to who they surround themselves with, as well as the fruit that those people bear. Then, we need to take our own advice, realizing that not everyone in our lives has been placed there by God, regardless of whether they are family or long-time friends (1 John 4:1).
Next time you are ghosted, consider that God may have removed that person from your life for your betterment or protection. If God has called you out of a wrong relationship, go with it. Trust that His plans for your life are greater than what you have to let go. And remember, you always have a friend in Jesus (John 15:14).
