Joke’s On You

Have you ever had a caricature of yourself created? You know, the cartoon pictures you get at the fair? My husband's first job was at an elementary school. He came home one day with a caricature of himself. An artist visited the school to draw portraits of the students and teachers. Back then, he had a head full of curly hair. The artist depicted him with his wavy locks and big smile in a private box at a basketball game. The scoreboard in the background reflected a landslide victory for his team. It was great, but this was not his first caricature. We had both gotten our first caricature together at Carowinds when we were dating. We had a running debate about whose head was bigger. I would always insist that it was his, but I knew in my heart of hearts that it was mine. And even though a caricature artist exaggerates your true features, where there is smoke, there is fire. Clearly, my head was bigger.

               Tensley graduated from this life in 2021. I put our caricature on his memorial where his body is buried, and where mine will be buried one day. The cemetery director must have thought that I was crazy. I actually said to him, “You're probably going to think this is crazy, but I want a caricature on the cameo.”

“No, not at all,” he replied, probably thinking to himself, It’s no crazier than you writing an original rap song and putting it on the grave. Besides, I've been working with you since November; nothing you do or say surprises me anymore. He told me there were a lot of firsts with the Brandon family. He would often call me and lead with, “Tahren, I've been working here a long time and this is the first time...” The caricature was just one of the newest firsts. “Do you mind my asking why you want a caricature on the memorial?”  

“I don't mind at all. It is because I do not take this whole death thing very seriously. Although Tensley’s spontaneous, permanent vacation with the LORD definitely devastated our lives, death was the easy part; living without his physical presence is what is so difficult.”

             In 1 Thessalonians 4:13, Paul says, “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.” Here, Paul wanted the people to understand that they should have a different perspective on death than unbelievers. Never to discount what others feel or be insensitive, but to know that “to be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD” (2 Corinthians 5:8).

I did not attend my husband’s memorial service. Some people questioned me, others disparaged me, but most chalked it up to my having a three-year-old at the time. Indeed, I would never have brought our young daughter to see her father's body lying in a box or being lowered into the ground. No judgment for those who have, but I told her where he is, in heaven. I could not contradict that spiritual truth with a physical ritual. Nevertheless, I would not have come to the service even if our child were not a concern. In life, if we could help it, Tensley and I were always together. He was not at that service, so neither was I. Whatever shell was in that box that they lowered into the ground is of no value until Jesus comes. So, why take death so seriously? Why not put a caricature on his grave? Jesus made a mockery of death. Why shouldn’t I?

               “O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” In 1 Corinthians 15:55, Paul taunts death. He can do this because death is a defeated foe, powerless over those found in Jesus Christ. At the cross, Jesus annihilated death, hell, and the grave. Death is a joke!

               You know what is not a joke: life after death. Living after someone you love has died to this world, that is the bad part. Your physical relationship with that person is abruptly interrupted. That sucks. But there is good news: By accepting the finished work of Jesus Christ, you can pick up with your loved one where you left off. Death is a joke, but only if you know Jesus Christ as your personal LORD and Savior.

Death is bound to affect you while you live on this earth, and it does not feel good. There is nothing funny about it, but you can lessen the blow when you look at it from the vantage point of the cross. From the perspective of Jesus Christ, Savior of the world, His shed blood gave us eternal life. We can look at death and say, “You have no sting! Grave, you have no victory! Joke’s on you!”